Joseph Abramajtys
4 min readApr 30, 2024


County Commission Defeats Satan, Insults Catholics

Off with You Satan

On March 23, 2024, the Ottawa County Board of Commissioners dealt Satan a debilitating blow, though during the struggle insulted Roman Catholics. The Satanic Temple of West Michigan[1] gave the board meeting opening invocation. This is a summary of what the Satanic Temple minister said[2]:

1. Let us seek knowledge.

2. Let us not be delusional.

3. Let us judge people by their actions, not by their religious beliefs.

4. Let us seek reasonable solutions based on demonstrable truth.

5. Let us reject authoritarianism that limits the personal freedoms of all of us.

However, the Ottawa Impact (OI) commissioners (a group of Christian Nationalists) were prepared for the battle.

Credit: Freepik

Commissioners Gretchen Cosby and Kendra Wenzel prayed silently, but demonstrably, to themselves. A large group of county residents prayed outside the boardroom, including a sizable contingent of Roman Catholics reciting the Rosary and the Hail Mary.

Commissioner Belnap answered the roll call with, “Lord willing, I am here,” which prompted some to wonder if the Satanic Temple minister’s presence was also the Lord’s will.



Joseph Abramajtys

Old Man, Retired Prison Warden, Social Critic, Recovering Catholic, Pain in the Ass. Occasionally dabbles in parody and satire.