Joseph Abramajtys
2 min readMay 7, 2024


County Receives First Annual MAGA Community Service Award

The Award

Allegedly, the Donald Truph-founded MAGA Foundation awarded its first Annual Community Service Award to the Ottawa Impact (OI) members of the County Board of Commissioners. The award is intended to honor those fighting against the perfidious influence of Woke on the daily lives of Americans.

The award was a plaque with the Foundation Founder’s picture, and the inscription:

“In support of efforts to fight Woke, and to Acknowledge Contributions to MAGA Republicans Fighting Federal and State Felony Charges. As well as Civil Charges for Rape and Sexual Abuse”

In addition, each Board member was given a lifetime supply of Depends adult diapers.

To honor the OI commitment to government transparency, the award was presented at a closed meeting heavily guarded by The Gideon Three Hundred[1].

Commissioner Comments

Chairman Moss thanked the Foundation for the award, noting “No OI commissioners face felony charges…yet.” And, while laying a 9mm pistol on the dais and glancing at Commissioner Wenzel, thanked the Foundation for the diapers,

Vice Chairperson Rhodea asked if any drag queens or transgender people were involved in the award selection process, and only after assurances that Christian pastors charged with sexual abuse were on the selection committee, agreed to accept the award.

Commissioners Meidema and Crosby seconded Ms. Rhodea’s comments, adding “all Woke sexual perverts, and…



Joseph Abramajtys

Old Man, Retired Prison Warden, Social Critic, Recovering Catholic, Pain in the Ass. Occasionally dabbles in parody and satire.