Member-only story

Joseph Abramajtys
5 min readFeb 7, 2024

--

Sex With the Dead

A True Story

The Deal

The Control Center Captain entered Warden Biggy Biggins’s office saying a prisoner claimed to know the location of a local murder victim killed by a boyfriend who never got apprehended. The prisoner said he was willing to ID the killer and take police to the burial site in exchange for a deal with the Prosecutor.

Biggins: “Who’s the prisoner?”

Captain: “Stanton, 124369.”

Biggins: “You mean Jaws?”

Captain: “One and only.”

Biggins called the prosecutor’s office and was told they were interested and would send an Assistant DA and county sheriff’s detective to interview the prisoner. Biggins sat in on the interview.

The prisoner was escorted to the Control Center conference room where the ADA, a detective, and Biggin waited.

Biggins, “Gentlemen, let me introduce you to Jaws. The infamous Jaws, doing his second bit for rape.”

Credit: Freepik

When he was deputy warden at a nearby prison, Biggins knew Jaws for his penchant for theatrics and escape attempts. Jaws would swallow stuff. Glass. Tableware. Light switch wires. Anything handy. Then be taken to the infirmary doubled over with stomach pain and a detailed explanation of what he consumed. He was then taken to the hospital where the crap was…

--

--

Joseph Abramajtys
Joseph Abramajtys

Written by Joseph Abramajtys

Old Man, Retired Prison Warden, Social Critic, Recovering Catholic, Pain in the Ass. Occasionally dabbles in parody and satire.

No responses yet